inthatlieshope:

See the world through the eyes of a Me.

A dramatic Shakespearean response to every situation

  • When something bad happens: True is it that we have seen better days.
  • When something REALLY bad happens: O woe! O woeful, woeful, woeful day! Most lamentable day. Most woeful day That ever, ever I did yet behold! O day, O day, O day! O hateful day! Never was seen so black a day as this.O woeful day! O woeful day!
  • When people say that something is wrong because the Bible says so: The Devil can cite scripture for his purpose.
  • When my girlfriend abandons me for food: FRAILTY, THY NAME IS WOMAN!
  • When someone doesn't thank me for holding the door open for them: BLOW, BLOW, BLOW, THOU WINTER WIND! THOU ART NOT SO UNKIND AS MAN'S INGRATITUDE!
  • When I burn something while cooking: MY CAKE IS DOUGH!
  • When human stupidity frustrates me: LORD, WHAT FOOLS THESE MORTALS BE!
  • When someone says I'm going to hell for my sins: NYMPH, IN THY ORISONS BE ALL MY SINS REMEMBER'D.
  • When I'm broke: My pride fell with my fortunes
  • When someone turns the light on after a period of darkness and blinding light ensues: OH, SHE DOTH TEACH THE TORCHES TO BURN BRIGHT!
  • When someone disagrees with me: THERE ARE MORE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THEN ARE DREAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY.
  • When I argue with my girlfriend: The course of true love never did run smooth.
  • When I'm embarrassed: MUST I HOLD A CANDLE TO MY SHAMES?!
  • Someone says "Good Night": Good Night, Good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow, that I shall say good night till it be morrow.

bloggerwithashotgun:

sitting-here-in-blue-jay-way:

rainbowsaola-and-turkey:

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

if you say “whale oil beef hooked” really fast it sounds “well i’ll be fucked” in an irish accent omfg

i’m gonna cry

im laughing way to hard at this

further proof my sense of humor is warped beyond repair

urulokid:

facebooksexism:

thebluelip-blondie:

skeptikhaleesi:

brownglucose:

nextyearsgirl:

The absence of women in history is man made.

How petty

just look at babe ruth’s face tho
so confused
so lost
i love it

pure hater shit

Jackie Mitchell…a bad ass lady I had never heard of. 

From her Wikipedia page: “Seventeen-year-old Jackie Mitchell, brought in to pitch in the first inning after the starting pitcher had given up a double and a single, faced Babe Ruth. After taking a ball, Ruth swung and missed at the next two pitches. Mitchell’s fourth pitch to Ruth was a called third strike. Babe Ruth glared and verbally abused the umpire before being led away by his teammates to sit to wait for another batting turn. The crowd roared for Jackie. Babe Ruth was quoted in a Chattanooga newspaper as having said:

"I don’t know what’s going to happen if they begin to let women in baseball. Of course, they will never make good. Why? Because they are too delicate. It would kill them to play ball every day."

Next up was the Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, who swung through the first three pitches to strike out. Jackie Mitchell became famous for striking out two of the greatest baseball players in history.
A few days after Mitchell struck out Ruth and Gehrig, baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis voided her contract and declared women unfit to play baseball as the game was “too strenuous.”[5][10] Mitchell continued to play professionally,barnstorming with the House of David, a men’s team famous for their very long hair and long beards.[11] While travelling with the House of David team, she would sometimes wear a fake beard for publicity.”
TL;DR: teenage girl strikes out two of the greatest baseball players ever, teenage girl gets her contract voided, teenage girl plays baseball wearing fake beard

urulokid:

facebooksexism:

thebluelip-blondie:

skeptikhaleesi:

brownglucose:

nextyearsgirl:

The absence of women in history is man made.

How petty

just look at babe ruth’s face tho

so confused

so lost

i love it

pure hater shit

Jackie Mitchell…a bad ass lady I had never heard of. 

From her Wikipedia page: Seventeen-year-old Jackie Mitchell, brought in to pitch in the first inning after the starting pitcher had given up a double and a single, faced Babe Ruth. After taking a ball, Ruth swung and missed at the next two pitches. Mitchell’s fourth pitch to Ruth was a called third strike. Babe Ruth glared and verbally abused the umpire before being led away by his teammates to sit to wait for another batting turn. The crowd roared for Jackie. Babe Ruth was quoted in a Chattanooga newspaper as having said:

"I don’t know what’s going to happen if they begin to let women in baseball. Of course, they will never make good. Why? Because they are too delicate. It would kill them to play ball every day."

Next up was the Iron Horse Lou Gehrig, who swung through the first three pitches to strike out. Jackie Mitchell became famous for striking out two of the greatest baseball players in history.

A few days after Mitchell struck out Ruth and Gehrig, baseball commissioner Kenesaw Mountain Landis voided her contract and declared women unfit to play baseball as the game was “too strenuous.”[5][10] Mitchell continued to play professionally,barnstorming with the House of David, a men’s team famous for their very long hair and long beards.[11] While travelling with the House of David team, she would sometimes wear a fake beard for publicity.”

TL;DR: teenage girl strikes out two of the greatest baseball players ever, teenage girl gets her contract voided, teenage girl plays baseball wearing fake beard

teaandfootball:

forkvegans:

toutcru:

I’ve been peeling mangoes the wrong way until now! Just did myself a large cantaloupe smoothie using this method it is so quick it blown my mind!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW MY JAW DROPPED SO HARD THIS IS A NEW ERA OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

Fucking witchcraft. How did I not know this ?!

teaandfootball:

forkvegans:

toutcru:

I’ve been peeling mangoes the wrong way until now!
Just did myself a large cantaloupe smoothie using this method it is so quick it blown my mind!

YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I’M FREAKING OUT RIGHT NOW MY JAW DROPPED SO HARD THIS IS A NEW ERA OF MY LIFE I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

Fucking witchcraft. How did I not know this ?!

mausspace:

weirdtrip:

he looks so pleased
"oh look. look at this apple. it me"

horf horf horf

mausspace:

weirdtrip:

he looks so pleased

"oh look. look at this apple. it me"

horf horf horf

starhole:

Original picture is courtesy of Penguin Teen
Do not forget to read first chapter of ISLA & HAPPILY EVER AFTER

starhole:

Original picture is courtesy of Penguin Teen

Do not forget to read first chapter of ISLA & HAPPILY EVER AFTER

brigidkeely:

plaidadder:

brigidkeely:

plaidadder:

theblackclitocracy:

commanderbishoujo:

brownglucose:

angiewrites:

Surya Bonaly
 is famous for her backflip landed on only one blade; she is considered the only skater in the world capable of this move

Why am I just now hearing about her??????

Because you’re young. She retired from amateur competition after the ‘98 Nagano Olympics and never medalled at the Olympics in her career, but she did win gold at Europeans a bunch of times and silvered at Worlds a few times.
The main thing to understand about Surya Bonaly’s career as a skater is that figure skating is racist as fuck and she never fit the image of a skater, to judges or to commentators. Race and colorism were a huge fucking factor in how she was evaluated and discussed—she’s French, born in Nice, but her (white) adoptive parents lied and said she was born off Madagascar and abandoned by her birth parents to make her seem more ~exotic~, to give you an idea.
Commentators were especially horrid to her and loved to praise her for her “athletic” style but would always criticize her for not being ~artistic~ enough and she always got dinged on artistic presentation. She would always do well in the short program on technical marks and then the long program would be her achilles heel because of how heavily artistic presentation was weighted. (For the younger among you, this is pre-SLC so this is when the old judging system was still being used.) 
More proof of how fucked skating is: Surya is also the only woman to my knowledge to ever land a quad toe loop in competition or even attempt one and to this day they don’t want to credit her with actually landing it, because all four rotations were not completed in air. Granted, there is a fair case to be made that it was only a triple, but don’t doubt that race played a role in that. They hated on this woman from the minute she got on the ice.
And yes, she landed that famous backflip on one blade at the 98 Olympics in her long program as one last FU to the system that had been fucking her for her whole career. Which is the real reason you should know who she is, tbh. Never was there a badder bitch on ice.

I remember when my mother threw her slipper at a television when Surya was receiving her marks in 1994 at Lillehammer.

Why yes. I will reblog Surya Bonaly.
And it’s not just youth, either. I was following figure skating pretty closely in the 1990s and my wife and I still have these moments like, “What was her name…that skater from France with the backflip…” “OH! I know exactly who you’re talking about, but I can’t remember…was it…” “Did it start with an S, maybe?”
But she was awesome. Now, I certainly agree with the above poster on the “figure skating is racist as fuck” thing, but that’s far from the only way in which the fuckedness of Olympic figure skating manifested itself in the 90s. In addition to not being able to get over Surya’s African descent, there was this rigid adherence to a particular feminine ideal of body type and style that was a disadvantage to any woman whose self-presentation was ‘too’ athletic and insufficiently pretty. You could get away with that if you were Katarina Witt and you sexed up the judges just as hard as you could the whole time you were out there, but otherwise, they had a real preference for slender and willowy. Same aesthetic that governs ballet, and whose psychotic enforcement by the men in charge makes the film _Black Swan_ so unbelievably painful that I could barely get through it.
Then there’s the ways in which my favorite pairs team, Shen and Zhao, got penalized by European and American judges over and over again for their programs not conforming to Western ideas of romance. They were so wedded to the heterosexual romance narrative as the template for evaluating these routines. I’d be listening to them talk about how they don’t have enough ‘artistic expression’ and yelling at the TV, “Did you fucking SEE that throw jump? Forget ‘romance.’ THEY CAN FLY!”
Sorry. I guess my feels about this are still strong within me.

Just want to point out that privileging a specific body type (slender and willowy) can also be racist. Black (and Latina & Native) female bodies are REGULARLY and ROUTINELY attacked for being too sexual or too masculine (or too fat, see criticisms of the Williams Sisters & Taylor Townsend in the predominantly white world of tennis, frex). There are a handful of sports that are still coded incredibly white (and wealthy), and figure skating is one of them (along with tennis, ballet, and dressage). So bodies perceived as non-white or not-white-enough get dinged for being “wrong”— for being too sexy, too muscled, too square, too squat, too whatever— and that is used as an excuse to score the performer lower. Wrong body. Wrong artistry. Wrong.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that the body ideal thing is separable from racism, but I can see how from that comment it looks like I did. I guess my point was that this demand to conform to that body ideal impacts everyone in the sport, though I am sure it was and remains a much bigger problem for skaters who aren’t white. In fact, as I think about it, the only other ladies’ figure skater of African descent that I can remember hitting the big time was Debi Thomas; and she took a lot of crap about her ‘style’ too.
Since I don’t follow figure skating any more I have no idea whether it’s different now, but my guess is no. 

I wasn’t trying to CORRECT you or anything, I just think it’s a thing that (white) people OFTEN over look, to the point where you have an elite athlete like Taylor Townsend castigated for “being fat” when she’s an incredibly active well-muscled person. The Williams sisters both got this, in addition to having people mock their bodies by, like, sticking cushions under their pants to “dress up” as them. You know? CF also Nicki Minaj getting shit for her cover of “Anaconda” while similar images grace the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition with no shocked outcry.

brigidkeely:

plaidadder:

brigidkeely:

plaidadder:

theblackclitocracy:

commanderbishoujo:

brownglucose:

angiewrites:

Surya Bonaly

 is famous for her backflip landed on only one blade; she is considered the only skater in the world capable of this move

Why am I just now hearing about her??????

Because you’re young. She retired from amateur competition after the ‘98 Nagano Olympics and never medalled at the Olympics in her career, but she did win gold at Europeans a bunch of times and silvered at Worlds a few times.

The main thing to understand about Surya Bonaly’s career as a skater is that figure skating is racist as fuck and she never fit the image of a skater, to judges or to commentators. Race and colorism were a huge fucking factor in how she was evaluated and discussed—she’s French, born in Nice, but her (white) adoptive parents lied and said she was born off Madagascar and abandoned by her birth parents to make her seem more ~exotic~, to give you an idea.

Commentators were especially horrid to her and loved to praise her for her “athletic” style but would always criticize her for not being ~artistic~ enough and she always got dinged on artistic presentation. She would always do well in the short program on technical marks and then the long program would be her achilles heel because of how heavily artistic presentation was weighted. (For the younger among you, this is pre-SLC so this is when the old judging system was still being used.) 

More proof of how fucked skating is: Surya is also the only woman to my knowledge to ever land a quad toe loop in competition or even attempt one and to this day they don’t want to credit her with actually landing it, because all four rotations were not completed in air. Granted, there is a fair case to be made that it was only a triple, but don’t doubt that race played a role in that. They hated on this woman from the minute she got on the ice.

And yes, she landed that famous backflip on one blade at the 98 Olympics in her long program as one last FU to the system that had been fucking her for her whole career. Which is the real reason you should know who she is, tbh. Never was there a badder bitch on ice.

I remember when my mother threw her slipper at a television when Surya was receiving her marks in 1994 at Lillehammer.

Why yes. I will reblog Surya Bonaly.

And it’s not just youth, either. I was following figure skating pretty closely in the 1990s and my wife and I still have these moments like, “What was her name…that skater from France with the backflip…” “OH! I know exactly who you’re talking about, but I can’t remember…was it…” “Did it start with an S, maybe?”

But she was awesome. Now, I certainly agree with the above poster on the “figure skating is racist as fuck” thing, but that’s far from the only way in which the fuckedness of Olympic figure skating manifested itself in the 90s. In addition to not being able to get over Surya’s African descent, there was this rigid adherence to a particular feminine ideal of body type and style that was a disadvantage to any woman whose self-presentation was ‘too’ athletic and insufficiently pretty. You could get away with that if you were Katarina Witt and you sexed up the judges just as hard as you could the whole time you were out there, but otherwise, they had a real preference for slender and willowy. Same aesthetic that governs ballet, and whose psychotic enforcement by the men in charge makes the film _Black Swan_ so unbelievably painful that I could barely get through it.

Then there’s the ways in which my favorite pairs team, Shen and Zhao, got penalized by European and American judges over and over again for their programs not conforming to Western ideas of romance. They were so wedded to the heterosexual romance narrative as the template for evaluating these routines. I’d be listening to them talk about how they don’t have enough ‘artistic expression’ and yelling at the TV, “Did you fucking SEE that throw jump? Forget ‘romance.’ THEY CAN FLY!”

Sorry. I guess my feels about this are still strong within me.

Just want to point out that privileging a specific body type (slender and willowy) can also be racist. Black (and Latina & Native) female bodies are REGULARLY and ROUTINELY attacked for being too sexual or too masculine (or too fat, see criticisms of the Williams Sisters & Taylor Townsend in the predominantly white world of tennis, frex). There are a handful of sports that are still coded incredibly white (and wealthy), and figure skating is one of them (along with tennis, ballet, and dressage). So bodies perceived as non-white or not-white-enough get dinged for being “wrong”— for being too sexy, too muscled, too square, too squat, too whatever— and that is used as an excuse to score the performer lower. Wrong body. Wrong artistry. Wrong.

Sorry, I didn’t mean to imply that the body ideal thing is separable from racism, but I can see how from that comment it looks like I did. I guess my point was that this demand to conform to that body ideal impacts everyone in the sport, though I am sure it was and remains a much bigger problem for skaters who aren’t white. In fact, as I think about it, the only other ladies’ figure skater of African descent that I can remember hitting the big time was Debi Thomas; and she took a lot of crap about her ‘style’ too.

Since I don’t follow figure skating any more I have no idea whether it’s different now, but my guess is no. 

I wasn’t trying to CORRECT you or anything, I just think it’s a thing that (white) people OFTEN over look, to the point where you have an elite athlete like Taylor Townsend castigated for “being fat” when she’s an incredibly active well-muscled person. The Williams sisters both got this, in addition to having people mock their bodies by, like, sticking cushions under their pants to “dress up” as them. You know? CF also Nicki Minaj getting shit for her cover of “Anaconda” while similar images grace the cover of Sports Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition with no shocked outcry.